Thursday, October 14, 2004

BROKEN NEWS

Kerry Sorry for Remark About Cheney's Lesbian Child
by
Scott Ott

(2004-10-14) -- John Forbes Kerry, father of two heterosexual daughters, today apologized for referring to the sexual preference of Vice President Dick Cheney's
daughter during last night's final presidential debate.

"There's nothing wrong with being one of God's homosexual children," said Mr. Kerry, an openly-heterosexual veteran of foreign war who is also a U.S. Senator, "And far be it from me to pry into the private life of Mr. Cheney's lesbian child, who is gay and a homosexual. People can't choose whom they will love, and so I should not have mentioned that his daughter is a lesbian person, and not a heterosexual, but in fact a gay homosexual woman who is a lesbian with the last name Cheney."
.... MORE

Supreme Court Gives Debate Win to Bush
by Scott Ott

(2004-10-13) -- Although many political commentators saw President George Bush and rival John Forbes Kerry battle to a tie in tonight's
final debate, the U.S. Supreme Court has intervened and awarded the victory to Mr. Bush.

In a terse one-page ruling, the court said that political pundits had overstepped their authority in declaring the match a draw.
... MORE

Object Under Bush Jacket Identified: 'It's a Spine'
by
Scott Ott

(2004-10-11) -- A forensic scientist studying photographic evidence has identified an object which caused a
bump on the back of a suit jacket worn by President George Bush during his first debate with John Forbes Kerry.

"It's a spine," said the unnamed scientist. "The president's backbone, in a sense, was showing during his debate with Mr. Kerry."

Similar images of Mr. Kerry showed "no comparable spinal features."

When asked about the new evidence, Mr. Kerry said, "I had a spine when I defended this country as a young man, and I will have one again when I defend her as president of the United States."

You have a right to your own opinions - You do not have a right to your own facts!